So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
