I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
