I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
