so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wear drunk well.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
