going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize