I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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