I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize
