By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
