Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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