So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
