My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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