can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
