So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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