She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
