I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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