Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
