eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
