so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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