If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
