I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
