I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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