You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
