She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
