One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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