Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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