My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
