your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
