Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
