Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
