i permit you to call me
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
