there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
