Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
