Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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