Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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