when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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