It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
