He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
