try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
