The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
