smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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