he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
There r osticjed everywhere
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
