I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
