you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
