You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
