There was a lot of him and a little penis
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
