Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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