So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
