And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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