i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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