weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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