getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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